


Summer Hols

by Rowaine



Series: Graduation Plans [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, F/M, Gender Bender
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-25
Updated: 2015-03-25
Packaged: 2018-03-19 15:39:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3615303
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rowaine/pseuds/Rowaine
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set immediately after Graduation Plans, our lovely couple deals with their future... and future in-laws.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Summer Hols

**Title: Summer Hols**  
**Author:** Rowaine (rowained@yahoo.com)  
**Summary:** Set immediately after Graduation Plans, our lovely couple deals with their future... and future in-laws.  
**Rating:** PG-13 at the worst.  
**Warnings:** Transgendered Harry, utterly profane use of pompoms, drinking to excess, bachelor night/bridal shower gone bad, and assorted stupidity.  
  
**This fic is not to be taken seriously!**  
  
Alright then, this is a continuation of Graduation Plans, in as much as it's supposed to deal with Siri/Remy finding out about "Harry" and all the changes.  
  
If you didn't read Grad Plans, then go do so before you get started here, cus I'm not recapping for ya. Yes, call me a heartless wench. I admit to that and more, but wasting breath to do something silly like making it easy on the lazy people when crazy people want to read **this** story just isn't in my make-up.  
  
Right. That's all the ranting for now. Timeline will start the day after everyone else leaves school for summer holidays.   
  
And before I forget, the disclaimer (one per customer, one per fic):   
  
I own jack. There's this cute little JackBall on my car antenae, and that's 100% mine. Everything else is JKR's, except for the body piercings and a few lines that I didn't borrow from someone else.   
  
Bow to the Goddess, offer sacrifice in Her Holy Name... and if I remember correctly, that means dancing naked around a cup of coffee, singing Billy Joel, while avoiding stepping on the cat's tail.   
  
Try it sometime. It's trickier than it sounds. Especially at 4 AM.  
  
Hugs all, on with the show.  
  
Ro  
  
.  
  
.

~ * ~  
  
**Summer Hols**  
  
~ * ~

  
  
**1**  
  
Hogwarts castle breathed a sigh of relief, as did its year-round occupants, when the last students were shipped off to their relatives and vacations.   
  
Happiest of the lot was Severus Snape, generally vicious Potions professor, and grouchy as hell without his first dose of coffee each morning. Of course, he wasn't nearly as miserable here of late. Not with a very warm and willing bundle of energy who insisted on warming his bed and pouncing on him in odd nooks and crannies throughout the castle. (Question: what exactly is a cranny, and who in hell came up with the word?)   
  
Severus was quite content at the moment, brewing a potion with his young lover preparing the less volatile ingredients - of course, the fact that she was only wearing an apron would **never** have anything to do with his good mood. Chop, splash, stir. The simple pleasures in life. And when it finally came time for the lengthy brewing stage, he could carry Rowanna into the other room and rediscover how deliciously responsive she was...  
  
"Watch it, love. You almost caught your robes on fire again."  
  
"Hmm? Oh, thank you. Where was I?"  
  
"You were in the middle of a fantasy, from the expression on your face. But I believe it's time to add the honeyed locust wings, if that's what you're asking."  
  
"Right, thanks. Fantasy. Honey. Gotcha."  
  
"Not enough coffee still, Sev?"  
  
Mutter. "No, too much sex. Back, woman, before I chastise you with my ladel."  
  
"Er, you realize how silly that sounds?"  
  
"Was it at all effective?"  
  
Thinking. "Well, I'm getting a bit wet."  
  
"Progress!"  
  
"But that's because you're tenting up. Thinking lotsa happy thoughts, are you?"  
  
"Witch, get thee behind me! I've got work to do here."  
  
The recently licensed Rowanna Potter, formerly known as the Boy-Who-Lived-Again, slithered off her lab stool and stood behind her lover as directed. "Oh, I forgot to tell you something. At breakfast this morning, I got an owl from Siri and Remy. They're coming by to visit tomorrow."  
  
Almost twenty years of reflexes, both from being a Death Eater at the beck and call of an insane wizard **and** being a spy against that same lunatic, were the only things that kept Snape from causing bodily harm to himself or his cauldron. Through clenched teeth, he asked, "And I suppose you would like me to make nice with Beau and the Beast?"  
  
"Only if you'll tell me which is which."  
  
"I'll tell you, but I will not make promises concerning that mongrel. Obviously, Black is the Beast. He cannot control his animalistic impulses, nor can he formulate a rational argument. At least the werewolf has some literary talent."  
  
"Just what we need more of around here - a literate howler?"  
  
"Why don't you go make yourself useful... somewhere else? Your presence is entirely distracting."  
  
"Glad to know I'm doing my job properly, love."  
  
"You still haven't told me about that fantasy of yours involving flower petals and shackles."  
  
"Later, doll. Finish your potion while I go start a bubble bath. You're welcome to join me, of course."  
  
"Mmm, indeed. Give me five minutes to set this to simmering."

~ * ~

  
  
Hours after dinner, Rowanna and Severus sat on the couch in his living room, snuggled together in a disorganized heap. Their conversation was punctuated with playful kisses and tweaks, making the line of thought derail at odd times.  
  
"So. I take it you haven't informed your dogfather and his mate of your new body and name?"  
  
"Well, I managed to make him understand that I'd changed alot this term. But Siri is rather thick-skulled -- and please, don't bother saying anything about that comment -- and I know it'll take him seeing with his own eyes before he'll accept anything."  
  
"I swear to you that I will keep a civil tongue in my dealings with him. Unless you would like to make use of it elsewhere?"  
  
"Hmm yes, in a bit? Like I was saying, he's going to have to see it to understand. And I would like for him to see us together soon after he gets here."  
  
"You really do wish me dead, girl."  
  
"Not at all! I wish you to live a long, happy life... but I also want to keep my godfather."  
  
"I do understand that, love. But you won't be able to just wave your wand at him and make a lifetime of hatred go away."  
  
"Maybe not, but..."  
  
"Finish your thoughts, Ro."  
  
"But maybe, if he saw proof that you aren't just using me to throw away at any time..."  
  
"You're fishing for something specific. Which reminds me..."  
  
"I remind you of fish? Now that's crude and insulting!"  
  
"Hush, brat." Rumaging through a small chest near the hearth, Sev brings back a wooden jewelry box. With no ceremony or preamble, he opens it and removes a sparkling emerald and ruby ring. "This once belonged to my grandmother. It will size itself to fit whichever finger you prefer. Until I can locate a more appropriate band, will you wear this ring to bind us together?"  
  
"Oh Severus, that's probably the most romantic thing you've ever said to me. Shall I cry now?" Even with her slightly sarcastic remarks, the young witch readily accepted the ring and placed it on her left hand's third finger.  
  
Drawing his young lover into his arms for a very tender kiss, the potions professor whispered, "If you feel the need, by all means. But I hope that you have no wish for such foolish things as tears with me." He followed this by a rather rough squeeze, slapped her arse playfully, and hauled her off the couch. "Now, let's go into Diagon Alley today. We've a few purchases to make before the mongrel arrives."  
  
"I guess it's a good thing for me that you always get horny after an argument with Siri." Rowanna stood, gracefully, and smoothed her hair back away from her face. So, are you ready yet?"  
  
Chuckle. "Impatient wench. Yes, I'm ready to leave. After you, my dear."

~ * ~

  
  
At thirty-nine, Severus Snape wasn't close to being considered "old" in the wizarding world - even among muggles, he would fall short of their midlife stage. Over the course of their shopping trip into Diagon Alley, however, he found his energy levels sorely taxed time and again. His terribly enthusiastic partner bounced from one shop to the next, scarcely allowing him the chance to breath in between stops. But since he had insisted that their first purchase be a jewelers, and their second to the apothocaries, he had few complaints at his companion's zig-zag approach to spending money.  
  
Only when he saw her glancing more than once toward the baby boutiques did he pause... Yes, his fiance was young, but not as unprepared for home and family duties as most of her contemporaries. Perhaps they would one day look forward to having children. A hope he had left behind, well before becoming an old nutter's spy.  
  
Rowanna stopped herself from entering several shops, knowing that her older lover would feel uncomfortable browsing certain types of merchandise without some thorough discussion. She contented herself with looking through windows at displays, and picking up nicknacks and trinkets and gifts for friends. As Sev wasn't paying much attention to her purchases, she managed to get a few items for him as well. Silk boxers and dressing gowns, a comical talking cauldron, some flavored oils, and a handful of playtime potions. Her version of playing, that is.  
  
Smirking at the last bag, she shrank it to fit inside the one large sack all the other packages had been stored in, and ran up to grab her mate's arm. "All done here, love. Want to grab an ice cream before we leave?"  
  
"And whatever gave you the idea that I'd want to rot my teeth on the sugary mess?"  
  
"Maybe it was the other night, when you called Dobby in with a special request at 3 AM?"  
  
"Oh right, you were there... Alright then, brat. Ice cream it is."

~ * ~

 

 **2**  
  
*Knock*Knock*  
  
Groan. "Do they have to show up before breakfast?"  
  
"You do realize that Siri's only here this early because he knows it will irritate you. Put on your most pleasant scowl and be as cheerful as possible. It'll piss him off quickly enough."  
  
"Lovely, thank you, dear one."  
  
"Pity we don't have time for more than a kiss. I'll get the door while you get dressed, love."  
  
Throwing on one of her crop-tops and a pair of snug jeans, Rowanna bounced out of the bedroom to greet her guardians. With a quick spell before opening the main door, she pulled her hair up into a long French braid, adding just a hint of glittery make-up. A small smirk in place, she threw back to door and charged the two men waiting outside with huge hugs.  
  
"Siri! Remy! I've missed you two so much!"  
  
Twin looks of confusion were exchanged. Remus Lupin seemed to collect his thoughts first. "Umm... Harry? You did say that you'd changed alot this term... but you forgot to mention developing breasts. And luv, **_those_** are no minor details to leave out."  
  
Snickering, the young witch grabbed them both by the arms and dragged them into the suite she shared with her lover. "I'll explain the best I can, but please come inside first! There's so much to catch you up on."  
  
Over the course of the next half hour, Rowanna outlined her thoughts and feelings leading up to her voluntary change in gender. While her godfather had yet to blink (or otherwise join the conversation), Remus asked questions and made comments often, adapting to the idea rather quickly.  
  
"I must say, Ha-Rowanna. Sorry about that slip -- it'll take some time to get used to this. But I should tell you that you seem entirely comfortable with yourself now. And you make a thoroughly enticing young woman." With a wink, the werewolf hugged her tightly and swung her around. "It's so good to see you happy and at peace at last."  
  
Slightly flushed, she gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "Thanks Remy, it means alot to know that you understand and approve. I've more news, but we should get Siri to join the talk first."  
  
Snickering. "Oh Padfoot, old boy. You really should snap out of it. So your godson is now a goddaughter. At least she doesn't look anything like you. Rather a pleasant combination of James and Lily. And she's **happy** , you fool. _WAKE UP!_ " And with that, the mild-tempered werewolf swung himself into one helluva punch, leaving a stunned animagus shaking his head on the floor.  
  
From the doorway into the bedchambers. "Very nice, Lupin. Thank you for holding off on the entertainment until I'd joined the party." Walking straight to his fiance, Sev drew his arm around her waist and pulled the unprotesting young lady in for a very thorough kiss. "And good morning, lover."  
  
"Such a drama queen, Sev. I hadn't quite gotten to this part of the story."  
  
"Well, what better way to let them in on our grand news?"  
  
"Are you quite sure that you were never an actor or politician? You have such flair for the spotlight."  
  
"Oh please, tell me you don't enjoy the shock value."  
  
"Never! And it's twice as much fun in your arms. But you still could have waited till after Siri had snapped to. You know he's more fun when he's halfway alert."  
  
"Very well, Miss Spoilsport. But you can't begrudge me the pleasure of stunning him if and when he becomes violent."  
  
"Deal. Sealed with a kiss?"  
  
"Of course, my love."  
  
And from the sidelines, one Sirius Black finally becomes coherent enough to join the discussion: " ** _WHAT IN BLOODY HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING TO MY GODSON... DAUGHTER... WHATEVER IT IS?_** "  
  
"Eh, Padfoot. I don't think the best way to handle this is calling your god _daughter_ names."  
  
"Shut up, Moony. You were raining praises all over the place earlier. Can't you see signs of Imperius going on here?"  
  
"Um no, I can't. She seems quite content at the moment. And, unlike myself, she finds your juvenile behavior amusing. Really, haven't you learned by now that screaming doesn't help matters?"  
  
"Well of course it does! It allows me to vent and intimidates the victim... what's everyone shaking their heads at me for? And stop that laughing! _HEY NOW_! I can be intimidating, can't I, Moony?"

~ * ~

  
  
Rowanna laughed at her godfather.   
  
Remus laughed at his goddaughter.   
  
Severus laughed at the expression on Black's face.   
  
By the time the house elves arrived with breakfast for the foursome, poor Padfoot was curled up on the end of the couch whimpering about abusive relatives.

~ * ~

  
  
It took nearly all of that day for Rowanna to convince her godfather that 1.) she was not under any spell or curse controlling her actions, thoughts, words, or magic; 2.) she voluntarily performed the changes of this year, with no provocation from anyone; and 3.) yes, she had called Severus "love" and "lover" and a number of other endearments.  
  
The news of their engagement didn't hit either animagus or werewolf nearly as hard as the general appearance of their godchild (safer noun!).   
  
It only made sense, in a very twisted way, that if the truly-unusual-young-person-once-known-as-Harry-Potter were to create a potion to alter his gender **on purpose** , then what made it such a hard thing to understand when "she" would choose Snape of all people to spend the rest of "her" life with?  
  
Or so Sirius said.  
  
His pronouncement was not met with happy smiles and nice words.   
  
Luckily, his reflexes prevented the majority of the hexes and curses from hitting their marks.  
  
His mate managed one of the binding charms to finally bring him down. With an evil twinkle in his golden eyes, Remus tightened the engulfing spells and sealed his lover's mouth.  
  
"Sirius Orion Black, I am so disappointed in you. And don't bother trying the sad puppy eyes - you know quite well that I'm immune. If James and Lily could see you now, could hear the horribly hateful things you're saying to their only child, they would be disgusted! Don't you remember how proud they were of their baby? From the day Lily found out she was pregnant to the day they died, our best friends loved and cherished their child, and it is OUR responsibility to continue the **unconditional** love of any parent. So just get over yourself and your foolish notions, and get that stick out of your arse!"  
  
Burrowing his face in his lover's neck, Severus fought not to snicker at the dressing-down applied to his long-time rival. A quick glare from his fiance assured that he, too, would receive such a tirade if he didn't behave himself.  
  
"Thank you, Remy. Your opinion means so much to me. If you say Mum and Dad would have understood and loved me anyways, then I can easily believe they would also support marrying Sev."   
  
"And what would you like to do with your godfather, my dear? He cannot stay in our chambers - his canine tastes clash with your decorating skills. And after a while, he's sure to smell worse than usual."  
  
"Oh leave off, Sev. Hmm, Remy, would you float him back to your rooms please? I'd like for you both to be present at our bonding next week, but if he's going to be a bastard about this, we'll just seal his mouth again, right?"  
  
"Of course, Rowanna. Lovely choice of a name, by the way. I believe it was one of your mother's picks, had you been a girl at birth."  
  
"Really? Oh I just knew it sounded right!" Strangle hug to the werewolf - 15 points for roughing.   
  
"Yeah, I'll just take this one back to the pound. Severus, Rowanna. We'll see you at dinner tonight."  
  
As the door closed behind her guardians, Rowanna let out a small giggle. "At least I know that Mum had some of the same tastes. Pity she couldn't have made Remy my first godfather."  
  
"Wizarding laws, luv. Werewolves cannot have that privelege. Now, are you certain you wish Albus to perform the bonding? He's been off his feed since you hexed his sherbert lemons."  
  
"That's easy enough to fix. I simply cancel the spell, and he can over-indulge in them before we ask. He'll be on such a sugar rush that he'll forget to hold a grudge. Besides," she snickered - frightening her mate - "if we tell him that he can dress up as Merlin, he'd agree even before I unhex his sweets."  
  
Moan. "Fine then. Leave the sweets hexed and let him play dress-up. I'll locate a Dolly Parton wig and some spiked heals to throw in the pouch."  
  
Snuggling close to her mate, Rowanna nuzzled and nibbled into Sev's neck. "I do love you, sir."  
  
"I love you as well, brat."

~ * ~

 

 **3**  
  
Late May is always a beautiful time of year in northern Scotland - moreso in magical communities where the bewitched greenery leaps to life and full bloom with just a whispered request from the witch or wizard in charge of their garden. Between Professor Sprout and Hagrid, the grounds and gardens of Hogwarts were in full color, ready for the small horde of guests arriving in duos and trios for the wedding.  
  
On a near-daily basis, the bride's godfather was caught attempting some prank on the groom... generally to have his jokes rebound on himself tenfold. He received no sympathy from his own mate, or any of the friends and Order members present. Most felt he was being juvenile (surely not! Sirius - juvenile? *gasp*) and ignored his attempts at conversation or collaboration in his plans.  
  
Far from giving up, the animagus redoubled his efforts... And managed to get a blanket and pillow shoved in his face by a very disappointed Remus. "Until you can act your age, and treat your only godchild's chosen spouse properly, you will find someplace else to sleep. I refuse to share my life with someone who behaves so poorly toward their own kin."  
  
Doors slammed in his face from every direction. Professors and recent graduates, house elves and even ghosts... the entire populace of the castle refused to accept Sirius' attitude. Sulking and pouting, he even tried Hogsmeade - and found that news of his behavior had preceeded his arrival. Even Madam Rosmerta refused to serve him, telling him to "Get out and grow up before crawling back to my pub."

~ * ~

  
  
Hermione and Minerva joined forces to throw a bridal shower for Rowanna. Every witch in Hogwarts, Hogsmeade, or from their immediate family and friends was invited. Winky eagerly agreed to provide lunch, punch and cakes.   
  
Two days before the ceremony, 'Mione dragged her best friend into the Great Hall, blindfolded and protesting, to be greeted with cheers and good-natured catcalls. Deputy Headmistress McGonnigal rapped her spoon on a crystal goblet, gaining everyone's attention, just as Hermione freed her friend's vision.  
  
"Woah, 'Mione! You've been busy... What's this for?"  
  
Snickering from the combined females. "You've never heard of a bridal shower? It's a party for the new wife, with friends and family bringing gifts to enhance your marriage."  
  
Louder snickering. "And in some cases, to enhance your sex life."   
  
_Cough_. "Er, thanks. I think... "

~ * ~

  
  
Somewhere in Hogsmeade, Remus and Ron were dragging Severus toward the back room of the Three Broomsticks. Rosmerta had magically enlarged the meeting room for this party, making plenty of space for the fifty some-odd wizards. A hearty meal and several smoking cauldrons of various wicked brews awaited them, as well as a long table piled with gifts for the groom.  
  
"Severus, we are respecting your wishes not to have the standard stag party. But you will have to accept our gifts and company this evening. Just be grateful that we didn't allow Albus a hand in tonight's events."  
  
Moaning loudly, the Potions Master located a particularly potent beverage and proceeded to drown his memories of the night of "masculine revelry."

~ * ~

  
  
Shuffling back into the castle, a very tired Grim slunk from corridor to corridor looking for a warm corner to curl up for the evening. Down one of the lesser halls in an unused section of the school, he heard a series of oddly musical hoots and howls.   
  
Padding quietly toward the sound, he nudged past a partially closed door.   
  
Just in time to come face-to-face with Headmaster Albus Dumbledore in full drag, complete with fishnet stockings, six inch platform sparkling red sandals, and a French maid's outfit that no self-respecting servant would voluntarily wear.  
  
Startled at the interruption, the batty old wizard dropped his feather duster and yelped.   
  
An echoing whine joined from the animagus.   
  
After the initial shock, Albus offered to share his treasure trunk of costumes and make-up. Morphing back to human, Sirius accepted... but only after downing half a flask of the headmaster's best sherry.

~ * ~

  
  
"Oh just look at this! It's darling, Molly. Where on earth did you find one in purple?"  
  
"Thank you so much, Professor Sinistra. I never would have thought to get a household telescope."  
  
"Hermoine dear, make sure to put all the cards along with their gifts. Wait! Isn't this teddy just darling? Who would have thought that Pomphrey had such taste!"  
  
"No no no, Rowanna! That's for **him** to use on **you**!" **_Blush_**.

~ * ~

  
  
"Whash-is-sish-for 'gin?"  
  
"Y'mean I'sposed to know?"  
  
"Ner'mind. Rosie! Sit on me lap, or face, whiche'er's your pleasure!"   
  
*Slap*  
  
"Or not, thanky dearest." Plonk, snore.  
  
"We're not telling 'Mione about this, are we?"  
  
"Wouldn't be safe, nope."

~ * ~

  
  
"Are you quite sure you won't try on the fuschia tights? They would go so well with that turquoise miniskirt."  
  
"Thank you, but no. These lacy white bobby socks suit me much too well."  
  
"Well, at least you remembered to wear those darling frilly knickers this time."

~ * ~

 

 **4**  
  
Conversations - the morning after  
  
A truly pitiful moan escaped from under the bedcovers.  
  
"You shouldn't have drank so much last night, luv. Surely you could have withstood one evening with the boys without having to drown yourself in firewhiskey."  
  
"Shaddup wench. Bring me a hangover potion and coffee."  
  
"Well, that's a fine good morning for you! The honeymoon's over, I see."  
  
"We got married already? Good, now I don't have to deal with your mongrel godfather for awhile."  
  
"No dear, sorry to disappoint you. That was just the bachelor party, or whatever they called it. We've still got another couple of days before the wedding."  
  
"Dammit woman! Leave me some delusions before this potion takes effect. Are you sure you grabbed the right one? I still feel like my tongue is made of cotton."  
  
"Yes, it's the right potion, you ungrateful wretch. Just drink your coffee and wait the full five minutes."  
  
"Heartless." Sip. "Cold." Slurp. "Uncaring." Long gulp. "Good coffee, thank you, love. I might be alive sometime in the near future."  
  
Chuckle. "Glad to see you joining the conversation. Hmm... did you see Sirius last night?"  
  
"Hah! No, he neglected to attend that debacle."  
  
"I could have sworn I saw him on my way back from the party. But I can't imagine what he'd be doing wearing a cheerleader's costume and a long pink wig."  
  
Cough, spewing hot black liquid across the bed. "He was wearing WHAT?! Do you have pictures??"  
  
"No, but 'Mione probably did. Get dressed and we'll find her."  
  
Mad dash to the shower, fresh robes, another two cups of caffeine. "Ready, let's go! Come on, girl, get out of bed! What are you waiting for?"  
  
"My good morning kiss, naturally. I refuse to wait in line behind my godfather's humiliation for your attention."  
  
_Blush_. "I'm sorry, dearest. Of course, how impolite of me." Syrupy slobbering ensues. "Now, get your darling arse out of bed and let's GO!"  
  
Snicker.

~ * ~

  
  
"Ronald Weasley, what on earth are you doing under the couch?"  
  
"Looking for my mind. Do be quiet, 'Mione. You're stomping around is giving me a bloody headache."  
  
"I'm hardly stomping, you git. Crawl out from under your rock and I'll give you Pomphrey's hangover potion. She sent us all home with double doses for you males."  
  
"Don't be mean, love. Just slide it over here, nice and quiet, and leave me to die in peace."  
  
"Fine. I'll just take these photos to the Great Hall then."  
  
_Gulp_. "Photos?"  
  
"Of the headmaster and Sirius in drag. Weren't you paying attention last night?"  
  
"Umm... give me five minutes to dress. I'll join you for breakfast."

~ * ~

  
  
"Oh Albus dear, could you possibly release the phoenix and float back down here? I can hardly serve your tea and lemon drops with you tangled up in the chandelier."

~ * ~

  
  
Whimper.  
  
"Siri, why are your eyes glued shut with that glittery purple goop?"  
  
Whine.  
  
"And what in the world are you wearing? Are those garters?!"  
  
Moan.  
  
"You haven't been watching the Rocky Horror Picture Show again, have you? I did warn you not to try dressing like Tim Curry. You simply haven't got the figure to pull it off."  
  
Sulking groan.  
  
"Oh really, get your hairy arse out of bed and cleaned up. We still have to make an appearance this morning. Dumbledore's orders."  
  
Mewl.  
  
"No sense in trying that kicked puppy look on me, mutt. Just get up and go wash, get dressed and we'll head to breakfast. Rowanna's surely waiting already."  
  
Loud moan.  
  
Sigh. "Sirius, if you won't do this on your own, I'll have to resort to drastic tactics. Do you remember sixth year, after Boxing Day?"  
  
Frantic shuffling. " 'lright fine. 'm up already. Some friend you are."

~ * ~

  
  
"Good morning, Miss Rowanna! Did you enjoys the party last night? Dobby spent hours putting the twisty papers everywhere, just like Miss 'Mione said."  
  
"Yes Dobby, thank you very much. Everything was wonderful, as usual. Now why don't you go get yourself some breakfast and tea while I feed the beast over here."  
  
Elvish snicker. "Master Snape don't look too good, Miss Rowanna, ma'am."  
  
"He'll be grouchy until he sees some certain pictures we have. Do run along and stay out of his line of fire. We don't want another accident like that dreadful enlarging potion, do we?"  
  
Gulp. "No Miss! Enjoys your breakfast. Dobby will see you later!" **_Pop_**

~ * ~

  
  
"Arthur, get yourself up and dressed. All our friends are waiting for us by now, I'm sure. And whatever are you doing with your pants on backwards?"

~ * ~

  
  
Wicked chortle. "Ah, the blessings of being a Potions Master. Thank you, my love, for reminding me of those extra remedies. I feel practically human again."  
  
"Again? You were ever human?"  
  
A pinch, spanking, and heated kiss later...   
  
"Like I was trying to say... You weren't ever human -- you're most definitely too sexy for such a lowly title."  
  
"Flattery will get you nowhere with me, wench. Come over here and convince me in a more tactile way."  
  
"It would be my pleasure, Professor."

~ * ~

  
  
"Molly dear, I find myself needing your assistance. Could you please locate Poppy for me, and join me in Albus' office?"  
  
"Er, yes of course, Minerva... Should I have her bring anything specifically?"  
  
"Tell her that she'll need Albus' emergency kit. She should understand well enough." _Snort_. "And if you can locate some cotton candy, or transfigure some on your way up, it will help."  
  
"I don't want to know, do I?"  
  
"No, you don't. I wish I didn't."

~ * ~

  
  
"If you keep this up, I'm going to have to find your old collar. Really, such behavior I would expect from the strays in London, but never from a fully licensed wizard. **_GET OFF THE COUCH_**! Gods, Siri, you're making a mess. Now **cut it out** already, and get your other shoe on. I refuse to coddle you any more this morning. And no, I will not cancel that spell until we're at the table. You really don't need your vocal cords just to put clothes on. And you can just stop with the sad-doggy eyes right now. You're perfectly aware that it doesn't work with me one bit. Now your godchild is waiting for us, so get moving. Yes, we are joining them for breakfast, whether you like it or not. And yes, you are going to be pleasant to Snape. If you want me to unzip your lips this century."

~ * ~

 

 **5**  
  
It took the wives and fiances till well after tea time to get their mates into some semblence of order. Of all the menfolk, only Severus faired well -- thanks to his own special potions for such occasions, of course. He merrily joined the festivities (that would be the taunting and teasing of hungover wizards, in varying degrees of shameful attire and health), snickering with his lover on the sidelines as the two of them cast the random charm or hex to prolong their amusement.  
  
The scurrilous pictures taken by some enterprizing witches from the night before weren't shown until dinner that evening. A tasteful, if somewhat bland, meal was enjoyed by the guests before Molly and Hermione set up a wizarding projector. ('Mione spent quite some time with Flitwick and McGonnigal, ensuring that the headmaster couldn't turn it off when his turn came around for embarassment.)  
  
Between the dress-up party by Albus and Sirius, and the drunken games of the men, as well as blushing women eyeing the x-rated gifts, each person present was "blessed" with their moment in the spotlight. Apparently, Miss Granger had taken it upon herself to teach at least two house elves how to operate a camera, for she had been captured on film holding a neon green strip of latex with odd snaps and buttons. When later asked, no one would admit to bringing that item as a gift, nor could anybody pinpoint its actual function.

~ * ~

  
  
A/N: Sorry people, I can't tell you exactly which pictures were taken. Yes, I do know... but every time I try to put descriptions into print, my brain starts aching and my hands shake. Don't ask!   
  
The damned mental images are from my 21st birthday party, and will haunt me for life. Just imagine a house full of fraternity guys with an unlimited supply of alcohol and other "recreational" substances, add their cheerleader girlfriends and the corresponding dress-up accessories, stir liberally with National Lampoon's Vacation brochure, and serve with lotsa lemons.   
  
Er, yeah, hope you get the point. Anyways, assume that everyone got a laugh out of everbody else's pictures, were thoroughly embarassed by their own, and Albus and Sirius will never live it down. I know, that's a tall order, but it's called "dramatic license" for a reason! So there :P

~ * ~

  
  
Hermione and Molly spent many amusing hours (at the bride's expense) helping out with the wedding robes and in putting away all the loads of gifts. Much to the horror of Hogwarts resident Potions Master, they kept his lover occupied well into the night, trimming and sewing and generally tying her up. (Tying up her _TIME_ , people. Jeez, get your minds out of the gutter! Besides, can you really picture Momma Molly as being into bondage? Eww, that's just wrong! Although... 'Mione certainly has the right attitude for a dominitrix, doesn't she? Hrm, maybe in future fics...)  
  
The day before the ceremony dragged on for both Rowanna and Severus. Arthur had abducted all his sons and the professor, dragging them off to Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley. He claimed that it was to keep them out of mischief, out from under the women's feet, and to bring back suitable presents for their ladies. Honestly, each of the womenfolk knew otherwise -- the shopping trip was to keep them from being used as packmules and gophers.  
  
Sirius and Remus stayed behind with the headmaster, alternating between running erands and being used as dressmakers' dummies. As pointed out by Minerva and Molly, the canine animagus made a perfectly good model -- provided that he was under the Petrificus Totalis curse at the time.  
  
Soon enough, dinner saw the bevy of witches finished with their preparations, and the menfolk came dragging back from their errands to join the meal. Last minute discussions were held, going over minute details and sharing previous experiences of wedding foibles and disasters. If these anecdotes were told to give the happy couple a case of pre-wedding jitters, it failed miserably -- the pair was too deeply engrossed in each other to pay attention to anyone else.   
  
With wishes of pleasant dreams being passed around, the wedding party finally went off to their own beds. Tomorrow would be a full day, and with Albus presiding, there was no telling what would happen.

~ * ~

 

 **6**  
  
Dawn broke gently, peeking in through shutters and curtains, nudging the castle's inhabitants from their much-needed rest. 

~ * ~

  
  
Down in the dungeons, Severus watched his lover breathe evenly in her sleep. This young woman -- so full of life and joy and love, who had gone through so many horrors in her few years, who had taken a bitter ex-Death Eater and offered him a reason to enjoy each new day -- brought out the best in him. It had been half a lifetime ago since he had last allowed himself the dreams of marriage and family, yet today he would join himself to the vibrant witch beside him.   
  
At odd times, Severus believed he almost deserved this happy ending. And that belief, too, was all Rowanna's fault. Not that he blamed her for it, not at all.

~ * ~

  
  
She knew he was awake, how could she not? His piercing ebony eyes bore into her very soul, watching and attempting to analyze her every movement, gesture, thought, turn of phrase. Inwardly she snickered, realizing that she had the rest of their lives to tease and torment her darling mate, making certain that he never grew bored or embittered again. Even with the syrupy sweet names he had called her yesterday could not make her believe that theirs would be a fairy tale match... but then, why would she want that? No part of her life had ever been by the books, and now was not the time to try to fit a mold.  
  
No, she was quite satisfied with the way things were going. She had her lover, her friends, and a lifetime to enjoy them all. 

~ * ~

  
  
Running in circles, Minerva tried once more to get her mate to **hold _STILL_**!!  
  
"Albus, if you wish to be ready, you simply must stand still! And no dear, you will not wear the garters under your robes. It's tacky to wear purple and fuschia lace before teatime." Some panting. "Dammit, you old codger, _GET BACK HERE_! You will **not** embarass Severus and Rowanna today, nor will you attempt any of your standard mechanisms. If you so much as **think** about a new plot, I will personally see to it that you are cursed, cursed to never be able to taste or even see your precious sweets again. For the rest of your life!"  
  
"Oh now Minnie, that's just _mean_!"

~ * ~

  
  
At ten o'clock, the assembled guests were all seated, ready and waiting for the ceremony to begin. When beautiful chords of a soft, sweet aria began playing, all heads turned toward the door. Several gasps and quiet murmurrings filled the air, with each person agreeing that the wedding couple looked outstanding.   
  
Severus wore a pitch black set of robes, sharply free of wrinkles and lint, with his hair brushed to a high sheen, laying flat down his back, tied back by a single strip of black velvet. Beneath the dress robes, he was in dark purple trousers and a creamy silk shirt. Shimmering threads of gold and silver were shot through his outer robes, making them sparkle in the bright sunlight.  
  
At his side, Rowanna wore a deep lavender gown, also outlined with metallic threading. Her overcloak was of mingled white, silver and violet, the colors swirling together in tight spirals. Her hair had been curled and braided up off her neck, piled high and fastened with several small combs decorated with fairies.  
  
As a pair, they were breathtaking, perfectly complementing each other in coloring, height, and power - their magical signatures were evident to all present, overlapping and twisting together.   
  
Before long, the couple stood before Dumbledore (who looked a bit peeved that his own robes were a "boring" silver), quietly taking each other's hands and facing their lover. The headmaster cleared his throat and began the ceremony:  
  
"It is a rare and wonderful thing when two people find the other half of their heart. Over the centuries, most of our kind have settled for arranged marriages, or joined their lives to close friends. Few witches and wizards have many prospects for finding real love and magical unity throughout their lifetime. It is with great pleasure that we gather today to witness the bonding of two of our number in just such a union."  
  
Bringing out a long, white braided silk cord, Albus began wrapping the couple's left arms together.   
  
"As the cord locates your essential magics, so let it bind you to each other. Connected in life, in love, in magic, and in death, let no one drive you apart."  
  
The ends of the cord were tied together in a strange knot, before the entire mass of rope dissolved into their flesh.  
  
"Please join your right hands and claim your vows before these witnesses."  
  
Following instructions, Rowanna and Severus clasped their free hands, looking deep into their mate's eyes, and spoke in unison:  
  
" _Let us play together,  
  
~bind together,   
  
~love together,  
  
Lust together,   
  
~learn together,  
  
Entwining our souls and minds,  
  
Entwining our hearts and bodies,  
  
Entwining our magic and lives._ "  
  
After the simple words were finished, a dazzling shower of opal sparkles surrounded the couple, creating a halo of light and magic around them.  
  
Dumbledore made a gesture over their hands, conjuring their wedding bands directly to their fingers. "The circle is a symbol of eternity, life into death, death to rebirth. For this reason, we use rings to proclaim to the world our commitments to each other." Another quick incantation followed, causing the rings to glow brightly. Albus tried catching their eyes, but the couple's stares were locked on each other. "In front of these witnesses, and before the gods themselves, we rejoice that these two people have found each other and combined their lives. Blessed be!"  
  
Echoes of the traditional words followed from the witnesses as they watched the newly married Rowanna Potter-Snape and Severus Snape lean forward, catching their lips in a gentle kiss. Seconds after their lips met, a brilliant glow formed around them, creating a blinding white shield that pulsed and morphed before soaking into their very skin. Just as quickly as it began, the mystical light faded, thoroughly fading into their bodies. Finally, the couple separated, opening their eyes and smiling at each other.  
  
The small crowd circled around Rowanna and Sev, offering congradulations and best wishes. Many had never seen the type of soul-bonding that had just occurred, and the event was replayed and explained several times over. Much to the amusement of their closest friends, the wedding couple seemed to not be able to hear most of this discussion -- they sank back in the crowd, absorbed in their own world.  
  
As people filtered back into the Great Hall for lunch and cake, Severus held tightly to his wife's hand, preventing her from joining the group.  
  
"Did you realize how powerful the ceremony would be? I... I had no idea that we were so compatible. If one day you wish to find someone younger..."  
  
"Just stop that right now, Severus. I've known for some time that you were the only one for me, forever. If you're only just figuring it out, then maybe you should stop working so hard - your obvious intellegence has slipped. Now shut up, kiss me, and let's go eat! The faster we finish these formalities, the sooner we can begin our honeymoon." With a leer at her mate, Rowanna brought his face down to hers in a deep kiss.  
  
"Yes ma'am, Mrs. Potter-Snape. Let's hope your godfather left us some cake."  
  
"Oh, they wouldn't get into it without us present. Bad luck for them, you know. But we must fill you with lots of energy boosters... you're going to need every last bit of sugar for tonight."  
  
"Indeed. So shall you, unless you expect me to do all the work."  
  
"I'd hardly call it work, luv. And this is a shared relationship. Of course I'll put as much effort into it as you do."  
  
"You're already sounding more prim and proper than before. Erg, I'm not sure I can handle you turning into Narcissa Malfoy."  
  
Sparkling laughter. "You won't ever have to deal with that, doll. I'm just trying to keep up appearances long enough to satisfy the old codgers inside. But if you'd rather skip the reception... we can always get started on the honeymoon a bit early."  
  
"Imp. Actually that sounds good, but we won't last till dinner without feeding each other first."  
  
Sigh. "Too true." A quick glance in her husband's direction. "Sev..."  
  
"Uh oh, you have that look."  
  
"Um... we're legal and all that..."  
  
"Just spit it out, Ro."  
  
"Well, since we're officially married, I guess it's safe to tell you now."  
  
"Safe? Tell me what?"  
  
"It's a good thing you agreed to marry me."  
  
Groan. "You've shown no symptoms. Thank the gods for small favors. How far along?"  
  
"Just about five weeks, I believe." Another quick glance. "You aren't upset? I know I should have told you, but..."  
  
"Upset? Only that you didn't tell me first. Who else knows?"  
  
"I think 'Mione suspects something, but I've told no one about it."  
  
"Rowanna, my love... this is perhaps the most interesting wedding gift you could have given me. But now we've got a whole new set of questions to deal with."  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"We've only got ten years to find and train a suitable replacement for Hogwarts Potions professor. I refuse to teach my own brats, and you know that there'll be a dozen new Weasleys by then as well." _Shudder_.  
  
"True enough. Suppose we'll have to find someone with a lot of tolerance then."  
  
"Or just too stupid to know when to be frightened out of their mind."  
  
"That too. I wonder if Draco will be finished with his treatment by then."  
  
"And have the boy suffer another ten years of your spawn? How very cruel of you, my dear!"  
  
Shrug. "Call it penance. I think the git deserves it."  
  
"Maybe, but knowing my luck, he'll end up in a similar position with our daughter one day. Are you prepared to have Malfoy as a son-in-law?"  
  
"Oh _gods_ , that's just evil! Maybe we should talk to the twins instead. You know they were good at potions, even if they gave you hell. I'd rather have one of them marry into the family than have to see Draco kissing one of my kids."  
  
"Quite. We're getting ahead of ourselves again, luv. First the meal, then we shuffle the well-wishers back to their own homes, and find a way to get rid of Albus for the week, then I drag you down to the dungeons and molest you for then next few days."  
  
"Sounds like heaven. Feel free to proceed, sir."  
  
Picking her up and tossing her over his shoulder, Severus stalked into the Hall. The assembled watched in amusement as the new couple laughed and tossed random bits of food at each other, arguing, bickering, exchanging snarky remarks and passionate kisses.  
  
The Boy-Who-Lived was pushed between covers of history texts, and the brutal Potions Master's edges had softened a bit. Their roles would change several other times during their lives, but during this summer's holidays, they were simply Ro and Sev, freshly married and generally pleased with themselves.

~ * ~  
~E~N~D~  
~ * ~

  
  
**AN:** Alright, I always felt this was a lame sort of ending. Don't know if I'll continue this or not... there's room for the kids showing up and all that, and I'd love to torture Dumbledore some, but honestly my attention span has shifted away from this fic. It might eventually have a coda or so, but don't hold your breath.  
   
Peace all,  
  
Rowaine


End file.
